Trust in the Lord
Wisdom from Proverbs 3:5…
This week, I was reminded (the hard way) of a very valuable lesson:
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, on your own intelligence rely not. -Proverbs 3:5, NAB
You may recognize this verse from artwork and Christian pop culture, but you have probably seen it translated a little differently:
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. -Proverbs 3:5, NIV
If you follow Waking Up Catholic on a regular basis, you probably noticed that the site was down for a couple of days. For those who follow me on Facebook and Twitter, I tried to keep you updated on what was going on, but I had no way to communicate it otherwise.
So, what happened? Well, some of you know that I work in IT (information technology / computers) for a living. Using those skills, I built this site, make modifications to it, and even run my own virtual server for hosting. At the same time, I do work for others occasionally. On Wednesday night, I was installing some software that I was going to use for another website, and it crashed my server – knocking out the database along with it.
Without getting too technical, the database is where every piece of material from this site is stored. Every word that I have written over the past two years for Waking Up Catholic was stored there. If I could not recover the data, it meant that all of that was lost.
My heart was broken. Sharing my thoughts and beliefs with you for the past two years has meant so much to me. Thinking that it could possibly all be lost, I struggled with doubt. Why had this happened? Why had I worked so hard, waking up an hour early everyday to write, putting in literally hundreds of hours behind a keyboard, just to watch it fail so quickly?
When the server first crashed, I did everything that I knew how to get it up and running. I was able to narrow down the problem, but I wasn’t sure how to fix it. Realizing that I was in over my head, I turned to the company I rent the server from for help. They immediately started trying to resolve the issue.
For the next 48 hours, I felt like I was sitting in the hospital waiting room, unsure if Waking Up Catholic would pull through.The backups were corrupted somehow, and the server company decided that we would have to rebuild the server from the ground up – a risky procedure. As the hours ticked by, the server company seemed to work less on the problem, and I feel it was because they felt it was not repairable. They had all but given up.
I went to bed heartbroken that Friday night. If they had given up, it was surely lost. I was coming to grips with that fact, but I did not know what to do next. Should I start Waking Up Catholic over from scratch? Should I take it in a new direction? Or was it just time to call it quits? Honestly, with all of the fear, doubt, and anger I was feeling, I was ready to just throw in the towel. Maybe it was time to quit and focus on other things.
Right before bed, I took a quick shower to clear my head a bit. In tears, I did what I should have done so much earlier: I asked God for help. I realized that there was nothing that I could do to fix the problem, and I needed His help. I prayed, “Lord, I can’t fix this, but you can! Help me to save Waking Up Catholic.”
Some may find it strange that I asked God to fix my website, but I believe that He has a way of answering all kinds of strange prayers. In the end, we have to put our trust in the Lord – for every aspect of our lives. God inspired me to start Waking Up Catholic, and now, I needed His help to save it.
The next morning, I woke up early to check on the repair process. Realizing that the server company had not done any work since the night before, I took the repair process back over. After a couple of minutes of digging, something clicked. Out of nowhere, I realized the solution to the problem, but I would have to find one wayward file that could be causing the issue. With a couple of clicks of the mouse, the database was restored, and Waking Up Catholic had a second chance at life.
As an IT guy, I am paid to be a nerd. Putting faith in my own abilities and intelligence is a necessary tool of the trade sometimes. This time, however, God reminded of how much more intelligent He is than us. For over two days, I could not repair the site, even with the help of six expert technicians from the server company. With the Lord’s help, the problem was fixed in less than an hour.
I am glad to be back doing what I love the most: writing. It has been a very difficult, trying week, but I have a renewed vigor for this mission. I truly feel that Waking Up Catholic is here because God wants it to be, and I will keep working hard to keep showing the beauty of the Gospel through this site.
Thank you for your patience during the technical difficulties. Everyone was very loving and supportive during the process, and your prayers definitely made a difference. I am glad that I have the opportunity to keep sharing with you. See you tomorrow… and every day after.